Marriage Is from Heaven

Guest (Male): Do you show steadfast loyalty to your spouse? Listen to Adrian Rogers.
Adrian Rogers: The devil is selling a generation today a bill of goods. Folks, I'm telling you, the husband owes to his wife a steadfast loyalty. I remind you what I told Joyce, I said, "Sweetheart, if you ever leave me, I'm going with you." I belong to Joyce, she belongs to me. We're in it together, and we're in it all the way.
Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring the powerful truth of God's word shared in the practical teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in a complete commitment for life. In Ephesians chapter 5, we see that marriage is not simply a contract, it's a covenant. And as we recognize Father's Day this weekend, we're reminded of three major responsibilities of the husband's role in the family, so that our homes may be heaven on earth. If you have your Bible, turn to Ephesians chapter 5. We'll begin in verse 21 as Adrian Rogers shares, "Marriage is from Heaven."
Adrian Rogers: The reason we have so many failed marriages today is that we have thrown away the original plan that God has given. Somebody has said that the difference between courtship and marriage is the difference between what you see in the seed catalog and what comes up in the garden. What causes that, I think, is failure to cultivate the garden. And I want to speak primarily, therefore, to the husband and his responsibility to his wife in the light of all of this. That's the reason why I've said, "Women are from Venus, men are from Mars," according to a popular book, but marriage is from Heaven. Marriage is from Heaven, and we're going to understand what God has to say about marriage. Now, Stu Weber said something very interesting. He said the great problem in America is failure in the highest office of the land, the husband and father. That's the highest office. That's the highest office in the land to be a husband and a father. Well, we're going to be talking here about the marriage covenant. Not the marriage contract. If you look at marriage as a contract, you're going to be standing up for your rights. If you look at marriage as a covenant, you're going to be accepting your responsibilities. If you look at marriage as a contract, you're going to be looking for loopholes in the contract, but if you look at marriage as a divine covenant, you're not going to be doing that. According to this scripture that I'm going to read to you in a moment, man has, the husband, the father, according to the word of God, has three major responsibilities. And I hope by the time I'm finished, whatever else, if you're a husband and a father today, you will see your three major responsibilities. Here are the three things that a husband is responsible to his wife for. Now, first of all, he is responsible for servant leadership. Look in verse 21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves under your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the savior of the body." Now, the word head here speaks of leader. The husband is the head of the wife, that is, he is the leader. He's not the dictator. The husband is not some sort of a top sergeant to be beating his wife over the head with a Bible club. We hear a lot about the chain of command. You might hear about the chain of command in the army. But this does not speak primarily of a chain of command. This is a line of responsibility. That's a much better term. You see, to have headship is to have responsibility. That means if a wife is to submit to her husband, she's to submit to her husband for a loving leadership. And God gives the model. What is the model? Verse 23. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church." Now, Jesus Christ has never forced me to do anything. I have never ever in my marriage, and Joyce and I have been married for a long time. I've never forced Joyce to do Yeah. I have never, I have never forced Joyce to do one blessed thing. Never. Jesus has never forced me to do anything. He hasn't forced me to be to church today. He didn't force me to put anything in the offering plate. He didn't force me to pray. He's never, he's never forced me to do anything, but he's led me and loved me to do many things. And you see, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. That is the model. Now, to be head means responsible leadership. Now, let me give you a verse of scripture. This is a key verse. 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3. "But I would have you to know," here's the Apostle Paul, the same one who wrote this passage, speaking, "But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God." Now, let's take that last part of that phrase. The head of Christ is God. Do you know anything about Christian theology? You know we don't worship three gods. We worship one God. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. A triune God. And in the Godhead, there is both Father and Son. And so the Father and the Son are coequal in worth, power, glory, majesty. Jesus could say, "He who hath seen me hath seen my Father. I and the Father are one." And yet, this passage of scripture here, 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 says that the Father is the head of the Son. Does that mean that the Son is inferior? Of course not. If you know Bible theology, you know that the Lord Jesus Christ thought it not robbery to be equal with God. Therefore, the headship of one does not mean the inferiority of the other. Have you got the point? The headship of the one does not mean the inferiority of the other. Now, the Son is in Heaven at the right hand of the Father as an equal, and the Father has an eternal headship, not because the Son is inferior, but because of everlasting love. You see, the home needs a head. Anything with no head is dead. And anything with two heads is abnormal. This doesn't mean that the wife is inferior. Let me tell you about the equality of the man and the woman. Both bear God's image. Put this in your margin. Genesis 1 verse 27. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created He him, male and female created He them." Both the male and the female, therefore, are in the image of God. And both the male and the female, therefore, are heirs of the grace of life. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. "Husbands and wives are to dwell together as heirs of the grace of life." So we are joint heirs with the Lord Jesus Christ. Both a man and a woman are equal in their standing before God if they've been saved. Put this verse down. Galatians chapter 3 and verse 28. "There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither bond nor free. There is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." So when our Lord looks at us, He's no respecter of persons. He doesn't say, "Well, you're of this race or you're that race. You're of this socioeconomic status and you're that socioeconomic status. You're a male or you're a female," and I'm going to divide between you on that basis. He says, "Oh no, oh no. Not in Christ." Friend, in Christ, we're all one. Say, "Amen." Every race, every socioeconomic background, each gender, male or female, we are all one in the Lord Jesus Christ. Now look, the male and the female both bear the image of God. The male and the female are both heirs of the grace of life. The male and the female are both one in the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, learn that and learn it well. They are equal before God. But now listen, and listen carefully, while male and female are equal, God has given them different roles. It's the devil's attempt to make men and women alike under the guise of making them equal. The devil is slick. Did you know that? Friend, I want to tell you something. God made them male and female, and the Bible is against he-women and she-men. The tendency today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the unique significance of maleness and femaleness. And you look around in society and you're going to see what has happened. The consequence is more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, more social awkwardness, more emotional distress, more suicide. Why? Because people have thrown away the God-given identity and the differences between the male and the female. Oneness and equality are not sameness. God is for oneness. God is not for sameness. God made us different that He might make us one. God made them male and female. And for one to recognize the headship of the other does not mean the inferiority of the other. You see, the wife may be superior to the husband in many ways. I know, I know that Joyce is superior to me in some ways, and I'm superior to her in some ways. Now, if you're the head of the home, you can delegate duties, sir, but you cannot delegate responsibility. Now, I am convinced that the problem in America today, and in the world today, is not primarily rebellious wives, but it is slacker, shirker, quitter husbands who do not take their responsibility to love their wives and lead their wives as Christ loved the church and led the church. You see, if the home is wrong, it is primarily because the man is wrong. Did you know, did you know that God held Adam responsible for Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden? Genesis 3 verse 17. "And unto Adam he said, 'Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and has eaten of the tree of which I commanded thee saying, thou shalt not eat of it, cursed is the ground for thy sake and sorrow shalt thou eat of it, all the days of thy life.'" God held Adam responsible for not leading his home and keeping his home as he should. We said that the husband is responsible for servant leadership. What is servant leadership? Sir, do you think you're little Lord Ha-ha? Do you think you're the dictator in your home? Well, you you've got a lot to learn if you do. A leader serves. Listen to what Jesus said. Now remember, remember that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Well, what did Jesus say? Listen, put this down, Luke 22 verses 25 through 26. "And He said unto them, 'The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. But ye shall not be so, but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he that is chief as him that does serve.'" Do you know what it means, sir, for you to be the head of your wife? It means you're going to serve your wife. It doesn't mean that she's there to bring you your slippers and the paper. It means that you are to serve her. Jesus is the head of the church. And yet I find in John chapter 13, Jesus washed his disciples' feet. And he says in John 13 verse 13, "If you call me Master and Lord, and you say, 'Well, for so I am.'" Jesus never said he was not Master, Jesus never said he was not Lord, but now listen, "And if I then, your Lord and Master have washed your feet, you ought also to wash one another's feet." I want to suggest, sir, that you find ways to wash your wife's feet. That's the way you show your headship in the home. It is servant leadership. Jesus said, "I'm the Lord and Master." But a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. A leader serves. Your wife is not there to serve you, you're there to serve her. Number two, a leader is gentle. If you're one of these tough guys saying, "I'm the boss and all of that," there's something wrong, you're sick. Listen, the Apostle Paul was the great leader of the church. He was an apostle. But he said to the church in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2 verse 7, "But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherish her children." How many husbands today are gentle? Gentle with their wives. Do you know what you need to be, sir? If you think you're the head of the home, you need to be a gentle man. A gentle man. That's leadership, to be gentle. I have noticed children who love their daddies to death. Do you know why those children love those daddies? You watch almost every time. The daddy will be a strong man that the little child looks up to, but he will be so gentle with that child. And when a man has that great strength and that great gentleness at the same time, that child will follow that father off a cliff. The Bible says of the Lord, "His gentleness hath made me great." You want to have great kids? Be gentle with them. You want to have a great wife? Be gentle. A leader serves, a leader is gentle. Now, I wish I had more time on that subject, but you're not listening very fast. Here's the number two thing. All right, now look. First of all, the husband is responsible for servant leadership. Secondly, the husband is responsible for sacrificial love. Now look again in verse 25. "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." The Greek literally is, "and gave himself up for it." The husband ought to be willing to die for his wife. That's how much you ought to love her. Sacrificial love. Servant leadership, sacrificial love. He doesn't have to die physically, but to die to ego and pride and ambition and all of these other things. How is he to love his wife? Well, he's to love her passionately. And when I'm talking about passion here, I'm not talking about passion like sexual passion, though that is certainly one of the gifts of marriage. But I'm talking about a passion that says, "I am willing to die for you. I'm saying I give myself up for you." Do you know what most marriages need? Most marriages in America need two funerals and one wedding, where both the husband and the wife die to themselves and come alive to Jesus Christ. You see, when a man loves his wife passionately, there's nothing too precious for that man to give up for his wife, except his relationship to Almighty God. The church is Jesus' bride, not mine. Joyce is my bride. You can get you another pastor, but I've got one wife. Nothing, nothing is too precious for a man to give up for his wife, except his relationship to God. And most women don't mind being in submission to a man who loves her enough to die for it and shows it by the way he lives for her. Now, not only is this this sacrificial love, passionate love, it is purifying love. Look in verses 26 and 27. "He gave himself up for her that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish." The husband, therefore, his chief assignment from God is to make his wife a more radiantly beautiful Christian. He is to intercede for her. He is to lead her. He is to teach her. He is to love her and protect her spiritually. He can never encourage her in any impurity whatsoever, to drink anything that's wrong, to watch anything that's wrong, to do anything that's wrong. No. His love is passionate love, it is purifying love. It is protecting love. Look in verse 28. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." That is, you want to protect your body when your body is in danger, then you're to protect your wife. A man is sick who does not protect his own body, and a man is maritally sick who will not protect his wife. He is committing marital suicide. Friend, be good to yourself and love your wife. You're to protect her because according to 1 Peter chapter 3, she's the weaker vessel. That does not mean that she is the inferior vessel. She is the weaker vessel. What is weaker, silk or blue denim? Is silk inferior to blue denim? What is weaker, stainless steel or gold? Well, is gold inferior to stainless steel? What is weaker? Porcelain or steel? Now, with porcelain you can make a beautiful cup. With steel, you can make a sledgehammer to drive a spike. Which is weaker? The cup. Which is better? You can't drink tea out of a sledgehammer, and you can't drive a wedge with a porcelain cup. God made us different that He might make us one. And God gave men to protect, and as Jesus protects the church, and thank God we're under His protection, the husband, with his servant leadership, is to protect his wife with sacrificial love. And here's the last one, steadfast loyalty. Look if you will in verses 30 and 31. "For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Now folks, let me just tell you something here, very plainly. Here's God's plan for marriage. All of marriage is just wrapped up in verse 31. "For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife." Do you know what the highest relationship on this earth is? It is not parent-child, and it is not child-parent. It is husband and wife. "For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife." It's so important here that we see that the the priority of marriage is the relationship between a man and his wife. And and the permanence of marriage is, "shall be joined unto his wife." That that word in the Greek and in the Hebrew in the Old Testament, has the idea of being welded. I mean, put together. And the Bible teaches what God hath therefore joined together, let not man put asunder. That's the permanency of marriage. And the purpose of marriage is, "and they two shall be one flesh." Now, I'm going to tell you something else, folks. My heart breaks for our teenagers today. Teenagers who are being taught, quote, "safe sex." Folks, it's not meant to be dangerous. It's not meant to be dangerous. What we need to teach them is sanctified sex. They two shall be one flesh. This speaks of a blending, not just simply of the body, but the soul and the spirit till they become one. Do you know why it's such a heartbreak? These kids talk about going all the way. Folks, that's the one thing they don't do. You don't go all the way until you give yourself, body, soul, and spirit forever to one woman, till death do you part. That's God's plan. That's God's ideal.
Adrian Rogers: The devil is selling a generation today a bill of goods. Folks, I'm telling you, the husband owes to his wife a steadfast loyalty. I remind you what I told Joyce, I said, "Sweetheart, if you ever leave me, I'm going with you." I belong to Joyce, she belongs to me. We're in it together, and we're in it all the way.
Guest (Male): What a privilege to hear Pastor Rogers' personal testimony on the priority, permanence, and purpose of marriage. You know, at Love Worth Finding, we love hearing how the ministry and the messages of Pastor Rogers have inspired you in your faith. If you can, go to our website, LWF.org/myLWFstory. Right there, you can submit your testimony or read others who've shared their stories with us. We often select these stories to be shared throughout our Love Worth Finding community, and we'll always protect your privacy if that's what you desire. Let us hear from you today. Go to LWF.org/myLWFstory. Hi, this is Kerry Vaughan, and this program has been brought to you by Love Worth Finding, a nonprofit ministry showcasing the powerful preaching and teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. We operate solely through the generous gifts of individual supporters, just like you. So, to give a gift today, call 1-877-LOVE-GOD. You can also connect with us online by going to LWF.org/radio. There, we offer helpful resources inspired by the timeless teachings of Pastor Rogers. Or even write to us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38-600, Memphis, Tennessee, 38183. Thank you for listening today, and be sure to join us next time for more profound truth, simply stated, right here on Love Worth Finding. We were so blessed to read this comment from a listener who said, "I receive Pastor Rogers' devotions daily and thank God every day for their timely delivery. The Lord knows just what I need at the right time. I thank Jesus Christ for saving me as a 17-year-old, and I sure do know God loves me. Thank you for continuing the ministry." Well, at Love Worth Finding, we love to inspire and equip you with messages and resources for your daily Christian walk. And when you donate to the ministry this month, we want to send you a copy of Calling God's Name. Adrian Rogers said, "The important thing is not that you know. The important thing is that God knows and that you follow Him." Start following Him more deeply with Calling God's Name, a month-long devotional from Love Worth Finding. Request the devotional when you call with a gift at 1-877-LOVE-GOD. And thanks for your generous support of Love Worth Finding.